Scientific studies have shown that our thoughts, feelings and beliefs lead the way in we choose to see the world. These thoughts, feelings and beliefs play a huge role in the development of both our perceptions as well as our misperceptions. Personalization is a perfect example of this.

When you take the time to pay close attention to how you process the data coming in to you, you will see how fast your thoughts in nearly every experience you have lead straight back to you. You begin to worry about what other people think of you. You work diligently to plan your actions in order to keep the peace. This even gets taken to the point where place an emphasis on doing what you think will make others like you, or love you, more.

This is something we all do. You, me, everyone does it. However, when we choose to take things to personally it can be a very slippery slope.

This might be a where we can take a look at Dr. Daniel Amen’s 18/40/60 Rule. His rule offers us a clear, thoughtful insight into how we view ourselves and others. It states:

"When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you’re 40, you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all."

How many times has someone just told you to be yourself? For me, it seems infinite. The real question should be, how would you know if you are really becoming yourself?

When I ask myself that question, there are several questions that come to mind.

• How do I act when I am with the people who I am most comfortable with?
• Do I smile more often when I am with them?
• Do I laugh more when I choose to be around them?
• Do I choose to show them kindness even when I know they cannot or will not give me the same courtesy?
• When am I most comfortable? When I am by myself, with friends, with family or even with strangers?
• When I am with others, how do I feel?
  

Maybe you ask yourself these same questions.

I think my comfort zone is being around friends. I can be myself when I am with them. In fact, while my friends are always honest with me (even when it hurts) I almost always seem to have the same groups of feelings. I never feel inferior but I do feel at peace, a certain sense of stability. My friends never make me feel awkward or try to intimidate me, but instead show me love, kindness and always seem to put a smile on my face. Maybe, just maybe it is because I am choosing to be myself and do not feel like I have to react to them.

Success is a tricky thing. If we are to be truly successful we must teach ourselves to show compassion to others and learn to live with kindness.

So, when you are looking to create more happiness in your own life, try showing kindness to another person.  For me, my overall health and sense of well-being are increased as I show kindness and generosity to others.

Studies have shown that showing compassion is vital for our own inner peace, mental awareness and emotional strength. When we choose to be compassionate it will not only remove the obstacles that get in our way but it will open our hearts and increase our overall joy in everything we do.

Compassion will also strengthen our awareness we have with other people, which is obviously a good thing for us and society.

• Choose to make it a daily goal to live with more compassion in your life.
• Develop a widened range of concern and understanding for others.
• Rather than judging others, try a little kindness instead. Believe me, this will change your life!
• Try this on act of kindness. Next time you are at your favorite drive thru, pay for the car behind you. Then, check in with yourself and see how it feels to be kind to a total stranger.

Remember, life can ALWAYS BE BETTER!

Everyone has patterns that keep them from functioning at their full potential. Typically, 20/20 hindsight shines light on this well after we make the wrong choice and we are left thinking to ourselves, "How could I possibly get here…again?"

Since studies have shown that the subconscious mind drives more than 90% of our thoughts, actions and reactions we must then understand that only 10% of our thoughts and actions are made consciously. Sadly, since life leaves very little room for reflection, most of the time we do not even notice that we have made a poor choice until well after it is done.

So, it is no wonder that our unconscious patterns are making the decisions that we struggle with most.

It is because of this that we need daily routines that will keep us in touch with our own lives. By understanding that this is an area of weakness we can make the choice to empower ourselves to intentionally choose our decisions. When we make this choice it will help to get rid of most, and maybe all, of those unhealthy patterns, giving us the life we strive for.

Here are some helpful hints to get you started!

• First, you must take time each day to pause and reflect on how your decisions affected your life and the life of others.
• Second, intentionally choose to celebrate the highpoints.
• Third, by recognizing the highpoints you are more aware and able to learn from your experiences and begin to see the “right” decision as they appear.

Remember, life can ALWAYS BE BETTER!

It is true, as life’s daily requirements continue to increase, it is far too easy to put off spending time with the people you need to spend time with, your friends. Face it, you have far more important things to do than just waste time hanging out, or do you?

As studies have shown, spending time with your friends is actually very good for your overall health. When you hang out with friends you tend to be more open with your feelings, which reduces many types of disease and stress relates complications. Additionally, your body will generate more serotonin, which increases feelings of contentment, happiness and your overall feeling of joy in life.

This week, choose to make the time to cultivate your friendships this week. It is time to develop the relationships that give you support on so many levels. Now is the time to feel the love!

• First, schedule a time to hang out with friends this week!
• Then, be sure to check in with your inner circle more often.
• Focus on keeping your relationships alive and well.
• Finally, remember that a good friend is there for his friends too!!

Remember, life can ALWAYS BE BETTER!